Approval addict?
I don’t know about you, but me, I would love it if:
- others recognized my worth
- others gave me acceptance of who I am
- and what I have tried to do for myself and them.
And, if you are anything like me – ain’t hapnin’.
- I have read so many different articles/self-help guides on “kicking the approval habit.” - I am still working on it.
- I have been in counseling and have been told that others will never recognize my worth - stop trying to get it.
- I only ask to be treated as I treat others; I expect others to act and treat me as I act and treat them. Expectations - This is where I get into trouble.
- We are all different, all have free will. The thought processes I use to make my decisions are not the same that others would use to get to there.
- There is a saying, “the way to hell is paved with good intentions.” I keep intending to not let it bother me, and I know that, while others might not recognize and appreciate all that I do, I let myself get hurt.
- You cannot get into Heaven on good deeds!
And Jesus understood!
Matthew 13: 53-58
When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked. "Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" And they took offense at him.
But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."
And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.
I am by no means a prophet! This passage is important to me, as Jesus, in his hometown and among his own people, did not have his worth valued, did not receive acceptance. If He didn’t get it, why should I expect it?
Mark 6: 5-6 continues the above thought:
He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
I am continually amazed at the lack of respect and caring that is displayed. A woman in a store I was in yesterday was hurt that the person in front of her at the pop bottle recycle machine believed that she would take the ticket from the machine for all the bottles the other person had put in.
John 6:41-43
At this the Jews began to grumble about him because he said, "I am the bread that came down from heaven." They said, "Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, 'I came down from heaven'?"
"Stop grumbling among yourselves," Jesus answered.
We do grumble among ourselves, but does anyone try and affect a change? It can be really hard swimming up that stream to make a change, to make a difference. But, just because it is hard, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be trying.
And then Jesus’ family heard what was happening.
Mark 3:21
When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."
To have your own family believe that you are out of your mind?!?
Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
This is the question that I must keep asking myself!
Matthew 12:47-49
Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you."[a]
He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers.
Matthew 10:36-38
a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'[a]
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 12:50
For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
I want to live my life as Jesus wants me to; that means surrounding myself with others doing the same thing. In this, I pick my mother, father, brothers and sisters, in Christ. I have Christ’s approval and love, and through him, and my selected family, I shouldn’t need any more. After all, “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
How about you?
Views: 11
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Haelie on -
Tami, this really is a wonderful post! I sooo often feel like this, especially as a wife and mother. But, I too come to the same realizations about it as you have shared here. Thank you for taking the time and effort to put together such a wonderful post full of great resources on this!
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Permalink Reply by Tami on -
I, too, am a work in progress, and sometimes feel like I am taking steps backward rather than forward! This was one of those times and I needed to get it out. In essence, with God's help, I vented! And to have had such a wonderful response to something I felt compelled to get out. In this, I have taken a step forward - I am listening and acting on compulsions. I helped a couple out at a gas station the other night with some gas to get home, I have helped out various family members with some things, I have helped others in my life with blessing or gifts or just wide shoulders and a pair of ears. For those, I wish my arms would have been longer. Thank you to all that have responded so positively to this venting of my heart, thank you to those that have offered encouragement and advise. And most of all, thank you to my Savior, who died so that I might live, and who loves me enough to keep bumping me to get back out of the boat!
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Permalink Reply by Juline Bruck on -
Heyyy Tami (and MLC Family)
I have watched Extreme Home Makeover a few times. I have yet. YET to watch a show without a few happy tears. This is a good show. I found a short clip on You Tube that I think is kind of the example of how to respond to this kind of approval thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pCpAzSvxho&feature=PlayList&...
The choir is really worshipping. I'm not sure the host is or not. In a sense that question is beside the point. THe mother's response really lifts all of this activity and gives the glory to God. ABC Extreme Home Makeover did the work. The companies donated physical items. THey got the credit on the show for being generous. The show displays the work and gives significance to the people who pounded the nails.. who went the extra mile.. who participated.
I want to show the joy that comes from doing good things. This show is really beautiful that way. There IS joy when we give of ourselves.. when we love each other. This isn't the episode that I saw yesterday, but all of these programs pull something profound from the participants that surprises them. I want to be surprised today. I feel like I have a prescription for joy. -
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Permalink Reply by Ronny on -
Something I like to try to remember about this - we all have the approval bug to some degree, so, if I'm not going to get it, at loeast I can give it, so someone else may be lifted up. I told my pastor today that he does the greatest sermons, and he really seemed pleased to hear that. And that was nice, to see I had brightened his day. So if you appreciate what someone does, let them know. They like approval too.
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Permalink Reply by Daniel Davenport on -
Dearest Tami, You Are Accepted!!! Your worth is far more than you could even imagine!! God Loves You and I more than we could ever comprehend. The World is lost with those in it. Our enemy satan will us everything available to him to push every button in every area of your life he know you are most vunerable in. Rest in Christ my sister and know He who has began a good work in you will bring it to completion. Your Brothers and Sisters in Christ Love You and accept you just how you are as Our Lord Jesus does. Have Joy and Be of Good Courage because your redemption draws near!!! Love from your brother in Christ Jesus.Daniel
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