Praying for Faith in God?
Last year through my class reunion I met a wonderful old friend who had been through several marraiges and several long term relationships, Things started slow we live 50 minutes apart and progress into a wonderful relationship.
She told me she loved me and even though I tried to fight it by making jokes about other women, I commented sometimes on other women and even bet her $20 she would break up with me by the end of the year. She told me she would never leave and she wasn't like the rest, I was very hurt by love in my first marraige and haven't loved since.
I truly thought I found love. When I decided to tell her that I love her and I wanted to do it in a special way so she would know I wasn't like all the rest of the relationships in her life I was sincere and would never hurt her. She had been hurt so many times before that I just wanted her to feel safe in our relationship. I teased and made jokes to keep my wall up but I did many things to show her my love. Going to Church with her, I am Catholic she is Methodist. Telling her how beautiful she is noticing new things she had done, flowers and wine just showing up to see her.
She knows I think Love is actions not a word. She knew how much I had been hurt. She said she would give me time. She told me how much she loved me an how happy she was.
She met up with one of the guys she used to live with in June and decided to spend the weekend with him. She told me she was at a conference for work. She said he hugged her and she felt like she was home. Even though this man drank and cheated on her he told her he had changed and after 12 years of not communicating with her. She is moving out of state to be with him. Her daughter is going to college this year and she has no ties to her home.
When I told her I love her she rejected it as a trick to get her to stay. She is a wonderful Christian woman and actually I felt an answer to my prayer that I asked God. I always told her she was my Angel sent to me from God. What she did is totally out of her nature and beliefs. I told her I can't keep her but I love her and would be here.
Then to make thngs worse I lost my job this month. I feel this is in God's plan too.
I really try to have Faith that she is God's plan for me and I have a hard time with believing she'll be back, I need prayers to help my Faith stay strong. I also know that like Love Faith is easy to say you have but hard to follow. I Love our Lord and try to show Him that Love isn't just a word by changing the sinful things in my life. Please pray that I don't faulter and I accept God's will. Whatever it may be.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tami on -
I went thru a very stressful "divorce" from my husband of 7 years - I say "divorce" as I was a common law wife and so it basically involved just leaving. But it was hard, as I know you are more than aware. And that hurt lingers and can impact anything you do after that. Don't let yourself feel bad that you were afraid to reach out again. Also, her deciding to go back to someone that had hurt her could mean one of two things: 1) maybe he did change and they can have what they had before only better, or 2) she has yet to break the abuse cycle. You need to forgive yourself.
I got an email once upon a time about the people that come in and out of our lives and some just stay for a "season." Maybe God was using this brush with a relationship to show you that you are ready to move on and take that step. Now, you just have to pray and wait for him to send along the right person.
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Permalink Reply by Mark A on
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Tami that's just it I did pray to send me the right person. He sent her to me and I think hat's what makes it hurt so much. I gave her unconditional love. Something she never knew before. She gave up everything she believed in that makes a relationship sacred. She even used God against me. Saying she had this wonderful job offer and God has told her to take it. Her mom told me that she never thought she had had ever cheated on anyone before and a minister that she dearly trust was floored when I talked him.
I tried several times to talk to her and she would never see me. I went to her home an as you can imagine it got ugly and we had a huge fight. She said I went over the edge when I talked to several of our friends about all this and tried to she what they knew and how to change their minds. Of coarse they told her and she was totally embarrassed. It was a mistake on my part and I told her I was sorry. She said it would take time for her to forgive me for what I did.
After the fight she changed her phone number becuase I couldn't let go and texted her trying to reason with her. Another mistake. It wasn't until I talked to her minister friend and he assured that if things didn't work out that she would return. I was very affraid that even if we never see each other she would move away and being so hard headed would not return because of all she has done to make this work and to destroy our relationship. The minister told me to write her mom a letter to assure her that I love her daughter and would still try to get her to stay. I told him what had happened an how she said everything I told her was a ploy to get her to stay and meant nothing. So I sent the letter. The next week she called me without blocking her number and we talked calmly for an hour. She knew this would give me her new number. I told her I had a letter for her and she asked me to email it to her. That made things even more confussing. She told me she was going to be out of town to go to a fair Friday-Tues I told her to have fun what ever she was doing after the fair. They always end on Sunday. SHe told me she is going to AR to see her ex and take her daughter to Branson. Which I find odd for this reason. I wanted make the first tiem I told her I love very special I have a bracelet for her and I wanted her to know I was commiting not just my love but myself to her. I told her I wanted to take her to Branson because there is a very romatic spot there. Two days later she told me that is where she and the ex is going. I told her where the spot is and I hope she sees it.
Well I know I have to move on and I will with the Grace of God. It will be slow until she is gone. I have the bracelet as a sign of Hope that I trust God's plan. I may just give it to her anyway so she'll remember.
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Permalink Reply by Tami on
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Giving it to her anyway might actually be a good idea, kind of a physical reminder.
I do understand your pain, but keep in mind that God gave us free will and that the evil one is defintely at work in the world and having a blast tromping on dreams and feelings. Just pray that if this is meant to be, she will be back to you.
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I know that if God wants us together he will make it happen. I just got confused like when asked for a wonderful women she was there. When I wanted another chance to talk to her she called. So I pray evryday for her and that God's will be done. If it's not what I want that accept it and follow the path He has set for me.
I lost my job last week for telling a friend to go to the EEOC to file a complaint against my company. I feel all this is in God's plan and as long as I have Faith in Him the path I am suppose to follow will be made clear.
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Permalink Reply by Tami on
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If you got fired for offering that kind of advice, that is retaliation and you could sue. I would go to them and see what advice they offer, also consult a lawyer.
Mark A said:I know that if God wants us together he will make it happen. I just got confused like when asked for a wonderful women she was there. When I wanted another chance to talk to her she called. So I pray evryday for her and that God's will be done. If it's not what I want that accept it and follow the path He has set for me.
I lost my job last week for telling a friend to go to the EEOC to file a complaint against my company. I feel all this is in God's plan and as long as I have Faith in Him the path I am suppose to follow will be made clear.
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I talked to a lawyer he said that in Kansas They can fire you without giving a reason. He suggest I talk to the EEOC and my friend and I are going to talk the the person she filed the complaint with. I wasn't consintrating on my work and made a error that they made into a huge incident and fired me less than 2 weeks after I gave my friend some advise. I think I will also write the CEO of the company I figure it won't hurt. If the EEOC can help me prove I was fired for retaliation then I might be able to sue.
When it rains it pours my Dr. told me yesterday I have diabetes to top everything off. It can be controlled by diet and exercise now. So I'm going to the gym in a minute.
Sometimes I think this was all to strenghten my Faith in Jesus Christ which it has. My life is truly in His hands. Thanks for all your advise.
Have a wonderful blessed day
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Permalink Reply by Jim on -
Praying for you Mark. God bless
Mark A said:I talked to a lawyer he said that in Kansas They can fire you without giving a reason. He suggest I talk to the EEOC and my friend and I are going to talk the the person she filed the complaint with. I wasn't consintrating on my work and made a error that they made into a huge incident and fired me less than 2 weeks after I gave my friend some advise. I think I will also write the CEO of the company I figure it won't hurt. If the EEOC can help me prove I was fired for retaliation then I might be able to sue. When it rains it pours my Dr. told me yesterday I have diabetes to top everything off. It can be controlled by diet and exercise now. So I'm going to the gym in a minute. Sometimes I think this was all to strenghten my Faith in Jesus Christ which it has. My life is truly in His hands. Thanks for all your advise.
Have a wonderful blessed day
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